by You are alone, cold, and abandoned. Your life is nothing but a fight for survival. Now. you said something to offend a high-ranking member of your tribe or to your boss and this slight mistake can cost you your entire life.
It takes a tribe to hunt and protect itself from animals and other tribes. The mind still needs a sense of group protection to function properly as this is how it’s been hardwired for centuries of evolution. It’s human nature. Now this brain is suddenly bombarded with endless social media feeds, ads that tell it what to do and what not to do to stay a part of the group. Instead of a small tribe, now it’s an endless stream of feed. No wonder there is so much anxiety and pressure.
This is now the fight we fight in modern times. The need to be liked and accepted in an environment which has made things worse. This causes us to do things that go against us.
Social rejection is no longer life-threatening. However, it feels like it is. There is no magic bullet that could solve this dilemma. However, I want to remind you that certain behaviors are not worth it to try to get people to like you.
Never bite your tongue for the mob
We live in a world that has become too dangerous to speak your mind. There’s too much political correctness and risk of people disliking you for your opinions. You need to decide whether you want to choose to live by your beliefs or by the standards which make you socially likable.
Saying things you don’t believe, just to get along with others means you value their opinions about you more than the beliefs that make you. It’s not a good equation to live with. Further, having the courage to speak the truth also inspires others to come forward and give their real opinions.
I am really waiting for everyone to speak up and bring out their real self to the table. I wish I’ll be able to see a world in my lifetime wherein everyone who is opposed to this cancel culture and political correctness would speak up and the effects would trickle person to person, creating a tsunami of realness that washes away this non-sensical behavior.
Never say yes to things you don’t want to do
It’s very important to study and observe human nature. There is both good and bad in everyone. Instead of focusing on how people should be, focus on how people are. It’s very important to build and fortify your boundaries and never lower them and live your life with the standards you set.
The most important word in life is “no”. The more you learn to use it tactfully, the better your life would be. Most people have a hard time saying no and setting boundaries. They want to please everyone. They let others cross their boundaries to think that they would like them. Exactly the opposite starts happening, it’s counter-intuitive.
Once you start lowering your boundaries, people start losing respect for you. They would also start taking advantage of you. I am sure you would have said yes to your boss or your friend to an unfair ask. People take advantage not because all of them are evil, it’s simply because it’s human nature hardwired in their brains.
Setting boundaries does not mean you need to be rude or inflexible. It means you have enough respect for yourself to not compromise yourself and not allow anyone to take advantage of you. This plays out well in long run, people start appreciating you because of the strength in your character. On the surface, they might seem offended but deep down they’ll like you more.
Never try to force love
You should never try to force the love or the connection with anyone. It happens automatically. Some people click, and some don’t. It has nothing to do with your or another person’s character. People just like each other or they don’t. Never try forcing it.
For example, you might have a great product idea, but the market/users might reject it at that moment and they might like it later. It does not mean that idea was good or bad, it’s all about whether it clicked or not. There are 7 billion people on this planet, don’t waste your time liking someone whom you don’t want to be with. Keep looking.
Never pretend
A lot of people pretend to be someone else. Most social media pictures are about smiling and looking the best you can. You are trying to play a lead role in some imaginary movie. People are trying to pretend to be someone they are not just to get others like them. Well, it’s easy to get people like this spoofed image of you. However, now you always have to be someone else, or they going to dislike you once they see the real you. Both scenarios don’t work well.
In the end, I would suggest leaving this attitude behind. Spend 10 minutes alone every day and just be with yourself. Figure out who you are and stick to that. It’s a good spiritual equation and a good recipe for happiness and acceptance.
